


Mom, can my friends come over after school?

by FanGirlyGlee



Series: Legends Vignettes [18]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Mrs. Heywood Rocks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 06:21:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17955239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanGirlyGlee/pseuds/FanGirlyGlee
Summary: So when I wrote Mrs. Nate's Mom my assumptions were (1) Hank was dead and (2) the Heywoods lived in a modest home.  Just because Season 4 has proven both incorrect doesn't mean I can't continue to believe that Mrs. Heywood is a cool lady





	Mom, can my friends come over after school?

Nate was thrilled to reconnect with his parents, and to have them know that he was doing important work.  Still, it was weird to have the whole team at their house, especially under the current circumstances.  Hank, thankfully, was out of town.  So while Ava and John were interrogating the latest magical fugitive down at the Time Bureau, Nate was did his best to keep everyone comfortable and out of sight.  “Ow!” Sara yelped, having hit her head on the kitchen door frame for the fifth time.  “Stupid horns,” she muttered, rubbing her scalp at the base of the bony protrusions that extended upward about a foot. 

“I think they’re technically antlers, Sara dear,” Nate’s mom observed as pulled food out of the refrigerator and set it on the counter.

Nate sighed. “Mom, what are you cooking now?  We’re not going to starve to death if you take a break.”  His mother frowned as she popped the tab on a can of beer. 

“Who knows what sorts of needs your friends might have with the changes to their bodies.  They need to keep their strength up.”  She began pouring the beer into a shallow bowl. 

Sara chuckled.  “You’re too good to us, Mrs. Heywood.  Though Mick could probably stand to cut back on the beer, especially in his current form.” 

The older woman ignored her and set the bowl on the floor in front of the man-sized canid waiting patiently by her side.  “I’m sure a little bit won’t hurt, and please, call me Dorothy.” 

Nate glanced out the window into the backyard.  “Thank goodness for the ten-foot privacy fence.  And we were lucky that you and dad still had the hot tub on the patio. I don’t think Ray would fit in the tub.  We’re not one hundred percent sure how much of him needs to be immersed in water, but it seems like a good idea to keep him wet.  Man, I remember when you guys used to have the Johnsons over to play cards and would be in that thing for hours drinking wine and chatting.”  Sara coughed and Nate’s eyes got wide. “Mom, you were just playing cards, right?” Dorothy hummed to herself while transferring a large slab of seared meat onto a plate.  “Mom, he does not need a steak.”

Mick bared his teeth at Nate for a second before giving Mrs. Heywood the biggest blue puppy eyes anyone had ever seen.  Dorothy laughed and scratched Mick behind his ears.  “Honey, he got rid of that damn gopher that’s been digging up my irises.  He deserves a steak.”   Mick started tearing into the meat. 

“Now then,” Dorothy continued.  “Would you see please go see if Raymond would like fruit, or maybe a salad. I was thinking fish, but maybe not under the current circumstances.”  She turned her attention to the window to watch Ray flopping around in the hot tub.  He waved, and Dorothy giggled.  Nate’s eye began to twitch.

“Can we maybe get him a shirt,” Nate grumbled to Sara. 

“Psst.”  Zari was at the back door, waving them over and trying to stifle a grin.  “Look what I found on the bookshelf while I was found one of your old t-shirts.”  She showed them a paperback with a very buff-looking merman on the cover.  The title was “Waves of Passion”.  Nate rolled his eyes.  “Did Mick write this one too?”

“No, but it’s one of a series.  I’m just saying maybe we should keep your mom busy in the kitchen.” 

Sara patted Nate on the back as they entered the back yard.  “Don’t worry about it.  Ray’s head over tail for Nora.  Also he’s probably still worrying about how to pee when he eventually has to.”

Zari gasped.  “I didn’t think of that.  Maybe this book can help us figure out where merpeople keep their, uh, equipment.”  She tossed Ray the shirt and began thumbing through the pages.

Ray stretched the too-small top over his bare torso .  “Thanks.  I was getting chilly.  Anyway, you can stop laughing.  I found _it_ and I can go just fine.”

Nate glared at him.  “You didn’t pee in the hot tub, did you?”

“No! But be careful when you empty that bottle sitting in the grass.”   

“Dude!”

“Hey, I swallowed a lot of water trying to figure out whether I could breathe under water.”

“Can you?”

“I cannot.”

“Maybe you need sea water,” Zari speculated.  “Or you haven’t completed your transformation yet.  I’m skimming the book.”

“Which is a work of fiction,” Nate reminded her.  Zari glared at him.

“Since when does that matter? We live in a magical world, Nate.  Who’s to say the author of this series doesn’t have first hand knowledge of gay mermaids?”

Sara snorted.  “Gay mermaids?”

Zari opened the book and pointed out a relevant passage.  “Yeah, well mermen who love other mermen I guess.  And sometimes regular men apparently. I haven't figured out how that works yet.” 

Nate tugged on his hair.  “What does this have to do with anything?”  Just then the wind picked up.  Zari shrieked, dropping the book as two large membrane-covered appendages sprouted from her shoulders.  They fluttered a few times, but it was clear that she did not have any control as she rose into the air.  Sara grabbed for her ankles, managing to bring Zari back to the ground where she continued to panic.  Encircled by Sara’s arms her head whipped around.   “No, no, no,” she cried.  “Get ‘em off!”

“Bring her over here,” Ray called out.  Together Nate and Sara maneuvered their distraught friend to the edge hot tub where Ray reached out and smoothed the thin wings down against her back. “Hush now,” he said in a firm voice while wrapping his arms around her to grasp her elbows.  “You’re all right.  They’re gone.  You’re safe.”  Zari took several deep breaths and hung her head. 

“I’m so sorry.  I know it’s stupid.”

“It’s all right,” Ray assured her.  “Everybody has fears.”

“But butterflies?” Zari whispered.  “They’re so pretty.  Just not on your face when you’re five-years-old and asleep.  It’s the _flapping_ that gets to me.”

Dorothy rushed outside with Mick bounding beside her.  She handed Zari a can of soda. “Here, sweetheart.  You’re bound to get low blood sugar from all that activity.”  She offered Ray a bowl of raw vegetables then inhaled sharply at the sight of the book on the lawn. She snatched it up and wagged a finger at Nate.  “Don’t you be making fun of my stories, Nathaniel.  I’m allowed some harmless fantasy.  I kept my mouth shut when I found that Sears catalog under your mattress.”  She retreated to the house in a huff.

Sara and Zari snickered, and Ray held out his closed hand for a fist bump.  “Hey, until you can get your hands on a Playboy the lingerie section is all we had.”   

Mick’s ears perked up and he took up a defensive posture as Ava and John came through the house.   John pulled a tennis ball out of his pocket and pretended to throw it.   Mick snarled. “Don’t tease him,” Ava advised.  “Who knows what he’s carrying.”

“You two have any answers to our collective predicament?” Sara inquired.

“Wait it out, Love,” Constantine advised. 

“Apparently this is sort of a prank rather than an actual curse,” Ava filled in.  “It will wear off in twenty-four hours.”

“Thank goodness,” Zari sighed.  Mick rolled over in the grass happily.

“Good Lord, Rory,” Ava exclaimed.  “I understand we can’t have you neutered, but would it kill you to wear some pants?”

He twisted his body from side to side, with his tongue lolling out. Sara smiled.  “I think that’s his way of telling you to quit lookin’, Honey. Let’s go to your place where I will sit carefully in the middle of the living room.”

Zari took at tentative step toward John.  “Can we get back to the ship? I need to be someplace enclosed and play video games with Charlie.”

Constantine flipped a cigarette into his mouth and went to light it up.  Ray flicked water on him with his tail, extinguishing his match.  “They’re bad for you,” he admonished.  “Plus Dorothy doesn’t allow it.”

“Fine, let’s get out of her, Z.”

Nate waved them off.  “Okay then. We’ll hang out here.  Just us guys, and my mom who reads gay romances.”

“Growing market,” Mick managed to eke out in a gravelly voice as he stretched out in a sunbeam.  “Chicks love it.”

“Uh, Nate.”  Ray looked embarrassed.  “I’m gonna need another bottle.”

“Can’t believe how much I missed you jerks,” Nate muttered.

**Author's Note:**

> So when I wrote Mrs. Nate's Mom my assumptions were (1) Hank was dead and (2) the Heywoods lived in a modest home. Just because Season 4 has proven both incorrect doesn't mean I can't continue to believe that Mrs. Heywood is a cool lady


End file.
